How do we increase our emotional intelligence skills in the difficult times we are experiencing now? Undoubtedly, stopping to understand ourselves and our emotions in the midst of a pandemic and critical election is daunting. And yet, what better time to stop and challenge our ability to manage our emotions effectively. When the challenges dim and life returns to manageable, we return to our old ways and brush aside the emotions that reared their ugly heads. Those emotions remain unresolved and the next challenge in our lives becomes even harder to manage and resolve. Our psyches have taken a huge hit this time weakening our abilities to maintain status quo. The pandemic is not a quick fix and enduring needs support and change in behavior.
Stop, Take a Breath and Feel All Those Ugly Feelings
Take some time now to understand and feel those feelings that are popping up on a regular basis. We are all stressed and feeling frustrated, disappointed, overwhelmed, unmotivated, sad, and sometimes really angry. As a result, many of us are reacting to these feelings. We find ourselves losing to those over reactions that damage our relationships, undermine our work ethics, stretch our financial reserves and cause physical problems that are exacerbated by unhealthy thoughts and actions. Have we begun to take drugs or alcohol? Are our voices mean and unyielding? Have we thrown schedules out the window and found ourselves missing important timelines? Even though we know better, have we spent too much money in hoping it would soothe our aching souls. Last but not least, what happened to our healthy eating and regular exercise?
All The Reactions Above Are How We Suppress Those Ugly Feelings!
However, everyone, those feelings and emotions are still there and we haven’t managed those feelings at all. We gave into them and they are unresolved. Here is where we stop, take a breath and take a long hard look at what we are feeling and why. We take one step at a time and begin with the feelings that bring the most angst. Are you ashamed of how you have been speaking to your children or your co-workers?Do you feel overwhelming guilt about the drugs you have leaned on to get by? And so, how do you move past these ugly feelings and begin anew?
Beginning Anew!
We share these feelings with a supportive person and feel the shame, guilt, hurt and sadness. Yes, it is often painful but true healing is. Let go of the past and resolve to change the present. Pick a manageable feeling and problem and with your supportive friend make a plan. Emotional Intelligence is about acknowledging one’s feelings, managing them and solving the issues that create them. Do it now and watch the change happen and spill over to other problematic feelings. In conclusion, change is never easy but with support its easier and love heals. Learning to manage our emotions especially in a crisis is a great step to becoming emotionally intelligent. You can do this!
Daniel Goleman’s EQ Strategies for Success