Being an emotionally intelligent family has 7 important attributes. Owning our mistakes is an important one and in EQ language this is called Accountability. We need to be accountable for our actions, our words and most of all each other’s feelings. Dr. Daniel Goleman says that being accountable reduces stress allowing us to think clearly for hurt or guilty feelings swamp our minds. The focus becomes those overwhelming and distressful feelings making it difficult to move forward.
Sometimes we do not stop to acknowledge these hurt or guilty feelings. We push them down. But they do show up and not always at the most advantageous times. Who knows what will trigger one of those feelings and how we may not be able to manage our reactions. We have all had this happen. We can’t imagine from where that angry voice or attitude came. Ooops…more hurt and guilty feelings.
Addressing mistakes of our actions and words within a reasonable amount of time, reduces the build up that eventually have to surface eliminating those awkward and harmful automatic responses. Teaching our children to calm down, think about their actions and address them in a loving and responsible way is being emotionally intelligent as a human being and as a member of a family, classroom or sport.
Now what are those 3 very important words? I am sorry. Though that may be enough at the time, the true accountability is not repeating the action again. Saying “I am sorry” can also be automatic without conscience or feeling and that is not the EQ meaning of accountability.
From My Heart to Your Heart
Hug-A-Heart understands how hard it is to say “I am Sorry.” Telling the truth when we make mistakes is important and helps us to move on without worry or sorrow. We feel better and need to hear and receive the love.
EI(EQ): Not Letting Emotions Swamp the Ability to Think